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FMA Drabble: Some Accounting to Do (Gen)


Title: Some Accounting to Do
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, crack, gen
Summary: Roy faces off against his greatest foe!

Some Accounting to Do

His enemy saw all and knew all. It was clever, dauntless, and vile. And the worse part was that there was no escape, at least not for him. He was utterly doomed.

Roy Mustang stared at the seemingly-innocent sheaf of papers, and they leered back at him from behind the stack labeled Yearly Budget Report. It was time. He couldn't put this off for any longer. In fact, he sincerely doubted Riza would even let him.

He could do this. He had to do this.

Taking a deep breath, Roy readied his pen and prepared himself. 'No where to start but the beginning, if one wants to be winning', his mother always said. Hopefully her advice wouldn't fail him now. Even against the great foe of Detailed Expense Explanations and it's evil minion, the ever-destructive Edward Elric.

Roy's hand trembled as he began writing the first line. He hated paperwork. Especially this kind. Hated it so very much.

May 5th- The destruction of several military vehicles by the Fullmetal Alchemist.

The equipment mentioned above was out of date. The Fullmetal Alchemist saved this department more money than it cost by removing the bother of hiring contractors to take the vehicles to the junk-yard.

Yes, yes that was it. He could do this!


July 19th- The violent removal of General Benson from power in Hensburg.

Moral-boosting measure. The support of the People is priceless. And the General was hardly fit to--

An extra large bouquet of flowers was sent to his hospital room. Extra roses were included.

Roy eyed the line, but no matter how much he glared at it a better explanation was just not presenting itself. Hell, how could there be one?! Edward had sent a military official into traction, for Providence's sake!

He had to face it: He was doomed.

And he still had five months and what felt like several thousand papers of Fullmetal's misdeeds to go. And that wasn't even counting the Donuts Budget, the Find Havok a date Budget (Breda's idea, that), and the ever-important Patching those bullet holes Lt. Hawkeye left in the wall Budget.

At least he had plenty of coffee.


October 25th, 26th, and 27th- Several small towns wiped off the map completely.

Urban renewal.

They asked him to.

There have been several notices issued by the Military specifically warning against the terms 'Short' and 'Small' being used in bars when the Fullmetal Alchemist is present and more importantly, drinking. The towns people obviously disobeyed our advice and thus are to blame.

It was t--

Maybe no one would notice if he jumped out the window?


( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:01 am (UTC)
This fic makes me giggle. :D
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
...oh ho ho ho... *more ominous laughter*

Poor Roy! XD
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
It's like Ed is the humanoid typhoon! XD
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:17 am (UTC)
ehehheeh i like!
Apr. 18th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Heheee! xD That just amuses me ever so much yes!
Apr. 18th, 2006 06:32 am (UTC)
XDDD ahaha, this is priceless
Apr. 18th, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
..... gotta love Roy, you just GOTTA XD

*loves on the poor Man* That made me smile, tnanks =D
Apr. 18th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)
That was so enjoyable! ^^;;
Apr. 18th, 2006 10:03 am (UTC)
Ahahahaha poor Roy. XD I'm sure he'll find some way to take it out on Ed...
Apr. 18th, 2006 10:08 am (UTC)
Oh, I share your pain, Roy! *laughs hard* Much love for the ending. XD;;

I missed reading Kyt fics. ;_; It's been a long time...welcome back! *hugs* =D
Apr. 18th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
HaHaHaHa. Poor Roy. Ed is like a tiny bulldozer isn't he?
Apr. 18th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
HAahahaha. This reminds me of my own job. Great Drabble. It made me giggle at the office X-D.
(no subject) - helcatari - Apr. 18th, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC)
This was funny!

Putting a positive spin on Ed's distructiveness would be hard to do.
Apr. 18th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
Yay! <3 Is there another word for it?
Apr. 18th, 2006 11:32 pm (UTC)

I'd hate to be in his place.

Awesome! =]
Apr. 18th, 2006 11:47 pm (UTC)

Poor Roy ^^;

Very funny fic Kyt!!
Apr. 19th, 2006 12:29 am (UTC)
You are (semi) back! Or at least back enough to be writing! :glomp:

They asked him to.

Hee. This was adorable. Poor Roy.
Apr. 19th, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
This was awesome! Totally in character, too. Really cheered me up. :)
Apr. 19th, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
The other budgets were also funny to hear. Although I do wonder if they admit to Hawkeye shooting at them.
Apr. 19th, 2006 02:03 am (UTC)
That was so funny. Made me laugh. Great job!
Apr. 19th, 2006 02:07 am (UTC)
i loved the last part. lol
Apr. 21st, 2006 09:42 pm (UTC)
Donuts Budget. DONUTS. Is this from that manga picture of Ed gnawing on donuts or is it...just because? Right, I don't actually care, I'm just saying HAHAHAHAHA ♥

Also, I think this Roy Doesn't Does Paperwork thing is actually very efficient, in that it's a way to get a look at Ed's antics on the road quickly and without as much reading. Roy does all the work for us.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )