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FMA Drabble: Some Accounting to Do (Gen)

OMG CONTENT!!11!

Title: Some Accounting to Do
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, crack, gen
Summary: Roy faces off against his greatest foe!



Some Accounting to Do




His enemy saw all and knew all. It was clever, dauntless, and vile. And the worse part was that there was no escape, at least not for him. He was utterly doomed.

Roy Mustang stared at the seemingly-innocent sheaf of papers, and they leered back at him from behind the stack labeled Yearly Budget Report. It was time. He couldn't put this off for any longer. In fact, he sincerely doubted Riza would even let him.

He could do this. He had to do this.

Taking a deep breath, Roy readied his pen and prepared himself. 'No where to start but the beginning, if one wants to be winning', his mother always said. Hopefully her advice wouldn't fail him now. Even against the great foe of Detailed Expense Explanations and it's evil minion, the ever-destructive Edward Elric.

Roy's hand trembled as he began writing the first line. He hated paperwork. Especially this kind. Hated it so very much.


May 5th- The destruction of several military vehicles by the Fullmetal Alchemist.

The equipment mentioned above was out of date. The Fullmetal Alchemist saved this department more money than it cost by removing the bother of hiring contractors to take the vehicles to the junk-yard.



Yes, yes that was it. He could do this!

****


July 19th- The violent removal of General Benson from power in Hensburg.

Moral-boosting measure. The support of the People is priceless. And the General was hardly fit to--

An extra large bouquet of flowers was sent to his hospital room. Extra roses were included.




Roy eyed the line, but no matter how much he glared at it a better explanation was just not presenting itself. Hell, how could there be one?! Edward had sent a military official into traction, for Providence's sake!

He had to face it: He was doomed.

And he still had five months and what felt like several thousand papers of Fullmetal's misdeeds to go. And that wasn't even counting the Donuts Budget, the Find Havok a date Budget (Breda's idea, that), and the ever-important Patching those bullet holes Lt. Hawkeye left in the wall Budget.

At least he had plenty of coffee.


****


October 25th, 26th, and 27th- Several small towns wiped off the map completely.

Urban renewal.

They asked him to.

There have been several notices issued by the Military specifically warning against the terms 'Short' and 'Small' being used in bars when the Fullmetal Alchemist is present and more importantly, drinking. The towns people obviously disobeyed our advice and thus are to blame.

It was t--



Maybe no one would notice if he jumped out the window?

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
umi_mikazuki
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:01 am (UTC)
This fic makes me giggle. :D
liete
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
...oh ho ho ho... *more ominous laughter*

Poor Roy! XD
britchan
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
It's like Ed is the humanoid typhoon! XD
gretchen8642
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:17 am (UTC)
ehehheeh i like!
threeonetwo
Apr. 18th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Heheee! xD That just amuses me ever so much yes!
measuringlife
Apr. 18th, 2006 06:32 am (UTC)
XDDD ahaha, this is priceless
gwyneda
Apr. 18th, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
..... gotta love Roy, you just GOTTA XD

*loves on the poor Man* That made me smile, tnanks =D
c_b_syndrome
Apr. 18th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)
That was so enjoyable! ^^;;
mikkeneko
Apr. 18th, 2006 10:03 am (UTC)
Ahahahaha poor Roy. XD I'm sure he'll find some way to take it out on Ed...
pandarot
Apr. 18th, 2006 10:08 am (UTC)
Oh, I share your pain, Roy! *laughs hard* Much love for the ending. XD;;

I missed reading Kyt fics. ;_; It's been a long time...welcome back! *hugs* =D
chrstphrl
Apr. 18th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
HaHaHaHa. Poor Roy. Ed is like a tiny bulldozer isn't he?
lilang_luha
Apr. 18th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
HAahahaha. This reminds me of my own job. Great Drabble. It made me giggle at the office X-D.
(no subject) - helcatari - Apr. 18th, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
velvet_mace
Apr. 18th, 2006 05:06 pm (UTC)
This was funny!

Putting a positive spin on Ed's distructiveness would be hard to do.
tomiko_the_muse
Apr. 18th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
Yay! <3 Is there another word for it?
strawberrykaoru
Apr. 18th, 2006 11:32 pm (UTC)
XDD

I'd hate to be in his place.

Awesome! =]
zalia
Apr. 18th, 2006 11:47 pm (UTC)
XDD

Poor Roy ^^;

Very funny fic Kyt!!
kumiko_kun
Apr. 19th, 2006 12:29 am (UTC)
You are (semi) back! Or at least back enough to be writing! :glomp:

They asked him to.

Hee. This was adorable. Poor Roy.
fizzko
Apr. 19th, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
This was awesome! Totally in character, too. Really cheered me up. :)
psi_neko
Apr. 19th, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
The other budgets were also funny to hear. Although I do wonder if they admit to Hawkeye shooting at them.
be_merry
Apr. 19th, 2006 02:03 am (UTC)
That was so funny. Made me laugh. Great job!
roynriza4ever
Apr. 19th, 2006 02:07 am (UTC)
i loved the last part. lol
moumusu
Apr. 21st, 2006 09:42 pm (UTC)
Donuts Budget. DONUTS. Is this from that manga picture of Ed gnawing on donuts or is it...just because? Right, I don't actually care, I'm just saying HAHAHAHAHA ♥

Also, I think this Roy Doesn't Does Paperwork thing is actually very efficient, in that it's a way to get a look at Ed's antics on the road quickly and without as much reading. Roy does all the work for us.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )