You are viewing [info]kytyngurl2's journal

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Girl - Naughty Girl
Another bunny I was working on mutated into this. I have no idea how it happened. Still, it's been a while since I've wrote, so here you guys go! It's Gen for once, but I think the Roy x Ed fans on my list would still enjoy this.

Title: Well Met
Genre: Gen, Introspective
Summary: Roy muses on the strange boy he just met with mixed feelings and no small amount of guilt.
Warning: VAS, but mostly because it's Roy's POV and he seemed to rather ignore Al himself at the start. Bad Roy!
Rating: PG
Beta: The talented [info]nsiva_llataq and [info]zalia



Well Met



When he first laid his eyes upon the boy, it was like an epiphany. A moment of perfect, utter, shock.

Roy had expected something completely different after what he had found left on the blood-soaked floor of that cold basement. For what he had discovered had been a gory display of unparalleled brilliance and talent... and an absolute lack of morals.

Before he saw the boy, he was utterly disgusted, both with the perpetrator and with himself. He knew all too well the dark deeds that could drive a person to try something so arrogant. He had almost walked that road himself.

Only the mad attempted human transmutation.

The person who had attempted that particular one obviously had no respect for not only the law, but also basic human decency, he had thought, coldly, still feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Roy rapped once on the door and let himself in, trying not to look at the name on the sign outside and determined to do what he must.

To his surprise, he found not a monster, but a child. A pitiful small boy, bandages wrapped around most of his body and limbs missing. He had been laying against sheets almost as pale as his own flesh, pretending to be asleep.

Distantly, he found himself remembering the contents of that letter, the one that had brought him here to this town... this cursed home... so far away from his own.

Mother is very very sick, Father. Please come home!

Only a boy. Children.

Perhaps it was pity that caused Roy to make his offer. That was a normal enough reaction to seeing a fellow human being suffering. Or perhaps it was surprise. It had been a real shock, that moment, after all. Roy had met a kindred spirit for the first time. Both were stained, it was just that Roy was able to hide his marks better.

Later, on his darker days, he would admit to himself that it had been his own damn guilt that had moved him.

He had to help.

****

Weeks after he had left the boy behind, his mind still processing the entire incident, the alchemist had done research on the matter of automail limb replacement. Books spread across his kitchen table, Roy sipped his already-gone-cold coffee and rubbed his temples. It had been years since he had bothered to research much of anything. He now remembered why.

Dangerous--

Dangerous, painful, and a long road to recovery, all the books on the subject had said. Not an operation for the faint-hearted, and certainly not one for a child. Even among the steel-willed, few could take that sort of pain willingly.

Coming across yet another disgusting illustration on nerve connections, Roy grimaced. Suddenly he was glad he had skipped dinner that evening. The description of the operation wasn't much better, either. He could hardly imagine what it was like to actually go through it.

The dark-haired man prayed, anew, that he had done the right thing... urging the youth along this particular path. His words by that bed-side had been spur of the moment, but the repercussions most definitely would not be. Roy only hoped that it would all turn out for the best.

He couldn't bear another suffering child haunting him.

****

Roy had to admit he was damned impressed.

It wasn't that he wasn't expecting to see the Elric boy again, oh no. He knew the type all too well, and there had been no doubt in his mind that they'd meet again in the future. But despite his self confidence in reading people and personal awe at the boy's amazing alchemy, he wasn't expecting it to happen quite so fast.

He thought he had at least until the child was 17. That was a few years later than the usual recovery time for the operation... Roy made allowances for Edward's age. After all, the brain might be brilliant and the spirit willing-- but that was only a child's body after all.

Now Edward Elric was standing before him, grinning cockily. He was standing steadily on two legs, and hands were resting on slender hips as the boy looked curiously around his office. The operation appeared to be a success, and the child unharmed and somehow, despite everything-- cheerful.

If Roy didn't know any better, he'd think the whole boy-alchemist before him was no more than the average and happy child. The type more likely to be found at a playground or school-house than the office of a officer of the military. An innocent, chumming around with his equally young friends... his whole life ahead of him still.

That is, he thought that until the boy opened his mouth, too-old eyes shining with determination.

"I'm here, Lieutenant Colonel. Now what?"

He had made the right choice in the end, after all. What a relief. The boy was fine. At that moment, Roy had no doubts Edward really would accomplish the impossible... yet again.

He'd help him every step of the way, too.

Comments

( 66 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]zalia wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
:D Yay for Roy! I love his whole train of thought about Ed and himself. Very IC, very well written ^___^ Love it muchly!

*gives chocolate*


For what he had discovered been a gory display of unparalleled brilliance and talent

For what he had discovered had been a gory display of unparalleled brilliance and talent

He almost walked that road himself.

He had almost walked that road himself.

It had been an real shock

It had been a real shock

He couldn't hardly imagine what it was like to actually go through it.

He could hardly imagine what it was like to actually go through it.


[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:06 pm (UTC)
Why thank you! I'm glad it turned out so well! And that you enjoy! :)

*hugs* Thanks for the beta!
(no subject) - [info]zalia - Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
[info]kaitou_marina wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 10:27 pm (UTC)
<3333333333333333333333

SO CUTE! Ah, I'm being destroyed with Roy/Ed fluff today <3<3<3<3
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 10:40 pm (UTC)
MWAHHAHAHAHAH! MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING.

Glad you liked it! And thanks for reviewing!
[info]celes_grant wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:11 pm (UTC)
mmm introspective angsting Roy... *basks*
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:15 pm (UTC)
My very favorite type! :)

Glad you liked it! *hugs* And thank you!
[info]chantal_lewis wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:46 pm (UTC)
Luverly. That's all I can say. I honestly wish I had your talent, but I'll end up sticking to drawing, instead.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:01 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! I'm flushing now, I really don't think I'm all that talented... and I had real problems writing this story. But I feel better about it now. :)

I can't draw, so no worries! I'd draw myself fanart if I could. XD

Glad you enjoyed it!
(no subject) - [info]chantal_lewis - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]chantal_lewis - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]chantal_lewis - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]chantal_lewis - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
[info]senoritafish wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC)
I've been avoiding most of the fic posted because I haven't seen the whole series yet; but this one seemed safe. I like very much; I really love POV stories like this. Thanks!
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:02 am (UTC)
With mine, I will always always warn for spoilers and where they occur. :) I wish other people would do the same, it's the nice thing to do...

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I seem to have a thing for POV introspection and I'm glad others do too!

Thank you so much for reviewing!
(Anonymous) wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 12:00 am (UTC)
You know, originally I came to fma fandom just for the porn, ma'am. It's been a big surprise to me how much I am enjoying the gen fic.

A bit of beta:

Both were stained, it was just that the boy's was visible.

A stain is automatically perceived as visible, so you don't need to remark on that quality. How 'bout:

"Both were stained, it was just that Roy was able to hide his [marks, wounds, disfigurement...?]."

There's a spot a trouble with tense, pov & meaning in this: On his darker days, he admitted the very high possibility that it was his own damn guilt.

Let me mull it over and I'll get back to you.




[info]nsiva_llataq wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
That was me, that was me!

Fehg.
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 01:06 am (UTC) - Expand
[info]bard_linn wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
Oh NICE. I love the bit about how Roy didn't expect Ed until much later. And how Ed went from a disgusting criminal to a kindred spirit. VERY nice.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:10 am (UTC)
Ooh, thank you!

I'm proud of that first bit. It seemed like a fun concept to play with. There was really no reason for Roy to expect Ed to come so damn early. And it excuses Roy's odd judgement in inviting a child to join the military too. He expected a 17 or 16 year old to come, not a 12 year old :D

I'm glad that bit worked out okay. It was tricky. *sighs*

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reviewing! :)
[info]forgottenlover wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:15 am (UTC)
that's lovely!
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:48 am (UTC)
Awww, thank you! :) I'm glad you liked it! Thanks!
[info]timchell wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:23 am (UTC)
Oooh...I adore introspective fics. This is very nicely done!
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:48 am (UTC)
I'm so glad people do. :) :)

Thanks! I'm glad it is, and that you like it! Thanks for reviewing!
[info]moothril wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 02:38 am (UTC)
Guuaaahh, I freakin love your fics!! XD Fics like this make my anime watching/manga reading such a better and richer experience. Since I have little to no character observation skills (=__=), when fanfic writers like you write those insights into fic...I love it so much.

^___^ Favorite lines-

For what he had discovered had been a gory display of unparalleled brilliance and talent... and an absolute lack of morals.

I really liked this because while most people don't gloss over the fact that Ed and Al did human transmutation...they don't really point it out either. o_o; If that makes any sense?

He couldn't bear another suffering child haunting him.

*shivers* Eeek!

Mmmm, ficcage.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:47 am (UTC)
Never mind what I told the other people... NOW I'm REALLY red! :D I'm so glad to make people's FMA experiences that much brighter! I adore the show, and love to see others enjoying it too.

Heck, I'm glad my introspection stuff is something people LIKE. Especially since over half my fics are introspective...

I think it does. While they admit it happened and it's a big thing for them... no one ever seems to really talk about it. This whole bit, btw, was inspired by the manga!Roy's reaction to Ed's human transmutation. He was -pissed-.

I love Roy!guilt. :D

Mmm! Glad you liked it! Thanks!
(no subject) - [info]moothril - Aug. 4th, 2005 04:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 01:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]moothril - Aug. 4th, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]moothril - Aug. 4th, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 5th, 2005 01:17 am (UTC) - Expand
[info]stickmarionette wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 02:53 am (UTC)
So IC that it seems like a missing scene type thing from the series itself, and well...love XD

Your gen pieces are just as wonderful as your Roy/Ed - great work! ^_^
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
That's such high praise! *basks in it and grins like a loon* Thank you!!

Gosh! ^_^ Doesn't hold a candle to yours though! :)

Thanks for reviewing! *glomps* I'm glad you liked it!
[info]crazy_toffee wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:32 am (UTC)
Heh, great piece. I'm sure Mustang hadn't expected to see Ed until a few years later. ^_^
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:44 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks! *blushes*

I rather like the concept that he didn't. It makes sense to me. I mean, how could he have guessed that this apparently KOed 11 year old would beat the odds that much? :o

Glad you liked it and thanks for commenting!
[info]mikkeneko wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:37 am (UTC)
An excellent story! I thought it got a bit shaky towards the end, though.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:42 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I actually thought it was shaking all the damn way through, but especially at the end of the first part. Hm. Well, it's never to late to fix things, so if you have any advice on how to tweak the end, let me know! :)

Thanks for reviewing, and glad you liked it! (More or less?)
(no subject) - [info]mikkeneko - Aug. 4th, 2005 04:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 4th, 2005 05:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 4th, 2005 05:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
[info]cryogenia wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
Awwwwww ^^ This is a sweet introspection we rarely get for Roy...what it must be like to be responsible for the Elrics. Very, very sweet <3
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you! :)

I like Roy introspection fics too, especially ones set in series. We see too much of the world, and especially Roy, filtered through Ed's eyes. And the boy is a might... biased. ^_^;

*laughs* I'm apparently the master of the 'sweet', or so they say. Worse reps to have, I think!

In any case, I'm glad you enjoyed and thank you for reviewing!

And now, sadly, I have to admit:

What it must be like to be responsible for the Elrics.

That gives me mental images of Roy washing down fist-fulls of tums with Gin. Because that's the other half of what it must be like to be responsible for those two. XD
[info]nsiva_llataq wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
Even among the steely-willed, few could take that sort of pain willingly.

Even among the steel-willed, few could take that sort of pain willingly.

Perhaps it was pity that caused Roy to extend his offer.

Perhaps it was pity that caused Roy to make his offer.

(Extend implies a previous offer has already been made.)

Both were stained, it was just that Roy was able to hide his marks better.

I know I suggested "marks" - I just hope nobody thinks Roy is trying to hide his report card. :D Especially because it's hard to come up with a better word - I found "flaws" or "taint", but I don't know if either helps the image you're trying to convey.

Roy had expected something completely different... (Eric Idle suddenly appears. "And now for something completely different... a man with three buttucks.")

I'm not serious here, but it is something to consider in this Monty Python-savvy age.

I'm done mulling over what bothered me from before, here's the result:

You're switching between three places in time for Roy's point of view - at the time Roy first arrives at Rizembuhl (lets call this the Rizembuhl Point, or RP), the second is several weeks after that (Weeks Later Point, WLP), and the third is the time Edward first arrives in Roy's office (Office Point, OP).

You start with the RP and everything's fine until here:

On his darker days, the alchemist admitted the very high possibility that it was his own damn guilt.

This sentence is written from a later point than the RP and you don't switch to the next point (WLP) until two lines later.

There are other problems with this pair of paragraphs:

Perhaps it was pity that caused Roy to extend his offer. That was normal enough of a reaction to seeing a fellow human being suffering. Or perhaps it was surprise. It had been a real shock, that moment, after all.

Roy had met a kindred spirit for the first time. Both were stained, it was just that Roy was able to hide his marks better. On his darker days, the alchemist admitted the very high possibility that it was his own damn guilt.


...that it was his own damn guilt that did what? It's not immediately clear - you can figure out that it refers to the first sentence of the preceding paragraph - to Roy's offer - but if you just rearrange things a little, clarity will be instantaneous.

See if you like this solution:

Perhaps it was pity that caused Roy to make his offer. That was a normal enough reaction to seeing a fellow human being suffering. Or perhaps it was surprise. It had been a real shock, that moment, after all. Roy had met a kindred spirit for the first time. Both were stained, it was just that Roy was able to hide his marks better.

Later, on his darker days, he would admit to himself that it had been his own damn guilt that had moved him.

Or "...that it had been his own damn guilt that had motivated him." Or some such thing.

Or something slightly more bitter: "Later, on his darker days, he would admit that it had not been pity or a sense of kinship that had moved him, but only his own damn guilt."

Then change this (to avoid the repeat of the word "later"):

Weeks later, his mind still processing the entire incident...

Weeks after he had left the boy behind, his mind still processing the entire incident, the alchemist had done research on the matter of automail limb replacement.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2005 06:00 pm (UTC)
Neither do I. I wanted to work with the concept that both were dirty little sinners, but only Ed was visibly one, as he has the automail (something a few people in the series refer to as a 'mark of sin' for him). Roy has no such thing, just a guilty mind.

*laughs* I'm a huge Monty Python nut, and didn't catch that. I think I'm going to leave it in for once, it sort of amuses me and I don't think most will make that jump. At least I hope so.

Ah ha! Yes! That was one of the sections that bothered me a lot, and I had the vague feeling my order was jumbled around and illogical, but for the life of me I couldn't figure how how or why. Thank you!

*tweaks it all*

I love your 'darker' suggestion a lot, and honestly wish I could use it. It's -beautiful-, but it's tone is slightly different from the rest of the piece. Alas. I might use that concept later, though. It's shiny.

Thank you a LOT for this, btw! I really appreciate it. I'm still combing through my fics right now, desperate to see if I can find any errors. I'm going to try sending everything over to [info]sockren tonight to be archived, you see...
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 4th, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 4th, 2005 06:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 4th, 2005 07:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 5th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 5th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 6th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 6th, 2005 05:37 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]nsiva_llataq - Aug. 6th, 2005 06:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - [info]kytyngurl2 - Aug. 6th, 2005 06:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
[info]acdragonmaster wrote:
Aug. 5th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC)
Bah, being so tired from work and I forgot I meant to comment on this. >_>;;

I like this. It's an interesting perspective on things, and I'm just a sucker in general for anything resembling fatherly!Roy. ^_^;; In short though, 'tis a nice little fic.
[info]kytyngurl2 wrote:
Aug. 5th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
Better late then never, ne? :)

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed...
( 66 comments — Leave a comment )