Eh heh heh. I'm being cracky again. ^_^; Gomen!

Title: Ingrate
Pairing: Roy x Ed
Rating: R, bordering on NC-17
Summary: Roy has one bad meeting.
Genre: Slightly smutty crack if you wait long enough.



Ingrate



"Colonel!" Major-General Hakuro glared at the uncomfortable looking alchemist from his place on the couch. He and several other higher-ups from the Brass had unexpectedly dropped by Roy's office ten minutes ago, with business that really could have waited until a better time. Though that didn't stop them from choosing to torture Roy with it right now all the same. "...Are you even listening?"

Roy resisted the urge to fidget, and forced his hands to calmly fold under his chin. "Indeed, I am. The Brigadier General has some good points, though I think his understanding of the situation is a bit... simplistic." Roy waved off said General's dirty look with a calm smile. "...I'm just a bit tired today. This was a... surprise."

"If you..." The look Roy got was significant. "Wish to go anywhere in the military, Mustang, you better get used to surprises. It's a sign of a good leader, if you can handle the unexpected."

Nodding, the Colonel opened his mouth again, strangely red-faced. "Well, I--"

"This is quite important business!" Interrupted Brigadier General Mathews shrilly. "I have been telling everyone for months that it's crucial that this be dealt with!" The man ignored the coughs his fellow officers made behind their hands at his statement and then continued. "The least you can do is pay better attention, Colonel."

Roy grimaced, and Lieutenant-General Cambridge, the oldest and highest ranking person present, took pity on him and spoke up. "Now now, gentlemen... You are being a bit harsh on young Mustang here." Smiling, he looked over at Roy and continued, "Just because you are young, is no excuse to not take good care of yourself. Be sure to get enough rest, no matter how delightful your evening company might be."

And then, horribly, he winked. All present took that as a sign they better not continue the conversation on that topic, unless they wished to utterly destroy their sex drives for a good ten to twenty years.

"Anyways, as I was saying... the tariffs we have on melons imported from Crete, while an understandable and good source of revenue, are a bit high. Why, I went to the market the other day, hoping to buy one-- the orange type, delicious, you know. ...And you would not believe the price they tried to charge me--!"

And discussion settled back into 'business'. Or rather, Mathews' personal vendetta against high prices on imported treats he just happened to enjoy. It was not the first time Roy and the others had to deal with the infuriating man, and they sincerely doubted it would be the last.

Sweating slightly, Roy kept a discrete eye on the clock and hoped his trembling did not show. They had been here for over thirty minutes already, surely it could not last for much longer? It was not all that hard to tell the melon-freak 'no', and move on to more important things. Or better yet, leave.

"Well, then, he's a racist! Just because it's a different country--"

"AAAH!"

All eyes turned suddenly back to Roy, their expressions startled. While interrupting Mathews was always considered a worthy pastime, suddenly shouting in a middle of a business meeting most definitely was not.

"Mustang, what the hell is it this time?!" Hakuro stood up, looking highly displeased, and made as if to walk over to Roy's desk. A move which seemed to panic the flushed and sweating Colonel even more.

Breathlessly, Roy quickly shook his head, raising his hands in an urgent gesture. "My... ear. It..." He looked sheepish. "It just suddenly started to hurt. My apologies."

"Your... ear?"

Mathews huffily dropped his beloved thick sheaf of reports and charts on importation rates on the coffee table. "Oh, come now..." He rolled his eyes.

Hakuro took that as his cue. "Colonel," He barked. "If you are not going to take this seriously, then I see no reason to take you seriously." He had been waiting for this sort of chance. The upstart was making a total ass of himself in front of Lieutenant-General Cambridge, of all people!

Smirking even through his anger, Hakuro had to admit opportunities like this rarely presented themselves when you had an oily suck-up like Mustang. Slyly, he glanced to the side, hoping to see an angry expression on Cambridge's face.

He was sorely disappointed. Instead, Cambridge looked concerned and near grandfatherly, leaning over from the couch and studying Roy curiously. "I say, young man, you really do not look well. Not well at all." His tone was pitying.

"Just... a bit ill, Sir." Admitted Roy, staring at a blank space on the wall that was behind the older men. His eyes looked slightly unfocused, and his breathing was quite uneven.

"ILL! Why he--"

"Go home and get some rest then, Colonel. We can hardly expect to get any work out of you when you are feeling sick." The Lieutenant-General pretended not to see the expression on Major-General Hakuro's face and then added. "Shall we end this meeting now?"

It was a testament to now much Hakuro truly loathed these sort of discussions that he allowed the subject to drop. He really didn't care one wit about melons or deficits either. They hardly seemed appropriate for the military, he'd prefer someone else deal with them. He could get the alchemist for this later.

Roy meanwhile, simply nodded and moaned out a long "Yeess." He was barely able to keep a relieved look off his face. He saluted almost normally as his superiors gathered their things and left the room with brisk nods. It wasn't easy though.

He waited until he was alone again, 30 seconds after his door clicked shut. Glaring at nothing in particular, he muttered angerly... as if to himself. "That really was a dirty trick, you know. We both would have gotten into some serious trouble if caught." He shot a significant look to the underside of his desk as he finished up.

Edward let Roy slip out of his mouth, and beamed up at him innocently from his place between the older man's legs. "You really worry too much, Roy. Besides..." Ed gave the head another lick, wrecking the effect. "Weren't you the one who complained that I didn't give you head near enough? Hmmph!" He paused for another nibble, prepared to forestall any further complaining from his lover.

"Ingrate."